one-eleven-eleven.

i'm a turd. that's really all there is to it. i've got a lot going for me, but i've been acting like i'm put upon like a selfish brat.

i've gotten so obsessed with this culturally defined idea of success. everyone knows my name. i've got money to spend. i have influence. those are the things i'm aching for, and i want them at a young age so that i can be some sort of hometown celebrity.
well, that's just stupid.

walking down the hall at my office just now, i felt a little blip of pride explode in my chest. i have a job. that's pretty cool. i got this job the second i graduated from college. i may not make the type of money i wish i were making yet, but i couldn't imagine having a cooler kind of job.

we made an exchange with the landlord of this building for some rent money, and now i get to share a rockin' creative suite with my best friend. not many people have the luxury of having their own space to create, move and work. it's something to be proud of.

i work under a really patient, flexible boss who is willing to teach me and strengthen my shortcomings. she's adventurous and wants to explore creative possibilities. dreaming up ideas excites me. sometimes i forget how exciting it is, because working is new to me and i get discouraged from not being able to accomplish everything all at once.

having the opportunity to grow under a marketing firm is turning out to be a cool experience. the job is everything i always described that i wanted but nothing like i expected i'd enjoy (it sounds weird to me too). i am getting the hang of prioritizing my tasks and accomplishing one thing at a time and taking steps to be efficient and effective.

i've been whining and shutting down because i've been so overwhelmed, and that's why i call myself a turd. God has given me a great opportunity, and i'm sulking before i've even worked hard enough to be discouraged. i'm proud of the work i'm turning out, and my focus is getting better every day.

my goal for the new year was to be better at managing my time and to be more punctual. when others are late it bothers me, yet i'm late all the time. it's not only disrespectful to others but its mainly disrespectful to me. if i start the day right, i get more done. i have a better attitude, and i'm more focused. procrastination was a bad habit of mine throughout my school years, but i'm learning that it's not fun to work at night in real life. even accomplishing things little-by-little throughout the day frees up more time for me to work on other projects, and having my "me" time when i get off of work has gotten even more valuable.

just some little tid bits on my big girl job stuff. more to come later.