this ridiculous john mayer song has been playing everyday on my pandora just to torture me. justin broke up with me, and i've never felt more awful. i'm shocked most of all. i've never believed something was more meant to be than us. i still believe we are. all the issues we ever had just seemed so trivial, because i knew we'd make it through them sometime in the span of forever we'd be spending together. i just always assumed that feeling was mutual. i don't even want anyone else. anything else would be a distraction or a subtraction. when you find someone who kisses your feet before they put your tennis shoes on your feet, you should keep that person around as long as they'll stay. i wish he'd stayed longer. rejection is the worst. i'm good at ignoring these feelings with my ingenius mastery of escapism, but it will hit me like a ton of bricks at any given moment. i start feeling short of breath like i'm hyperventilating. i can't get a grip. then i slip back into my fake smile.
i haven't made it to cleaning up the pictures and the memory box. i don't know what good it would do, because everything reminds me of him. i don't even mind being reminded, because all i want is for him to be here. it's hardest at the end of the day when i wish i had one more time to walk him to the door and kiss him goodnight. i'm pathetic.
when you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part
you roll outta bed and down on your knees
and for the moment you can hardly breathe
wondering was she really here?
is she standing in my room?
no she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
when you're dreaming with a broken heart
the giving up is the hardest part
she takes you in with your crying eyes
then all at once you have to say goodbye
wondering could you stay my love?
will you wake up by my side?
no she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
oooooooooohhhhhhhhh
now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand
do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand?
baby won't you get them if i did?
no you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....
when you're dreaming with a broken heart
the waking up is the hardest part.
- erin whatley
- two-two-niine, Georgia, United States
- i never thought it would be hard to fit a nut into a nutshell, but here's a go at what i'm about. foremost, i know, love and follow the Lord. i'm a wild card. i enjoy being alone as much as i enjoy other people. i eat up anything art-related. i'm an only child. i have a BBA in Marketing & an AA in Fine Arts. i'm the marketing and PR gal for Stewbos group, a job i truly love. i do this part-time, and the rest of the time i'm a stay at home wife/mama to Justin and Vayda. i itch to travel and i delight at learning new things. you'll find i'm neurotic, intellectual, honest and somewhat naive. i'm open and compassionate, yet paradoxically hard on myself. my biggest fear is succumbing to cynicism, and my greatest joy is experiencing growth. my idol is willy wonka, because i never want to grow up. i sing and dance my way through the day. I believe the best ones are full of giggles. i think blogging is rather self-indulgent. writing about my thoughts feels selfish, yet i enjoy the exploration it brings. thanks for stopping by.
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