so, i'm pondering my God for a minute.

i just had the strangest thought. being that it's 2:42 AM, i'm probably hallucinating, but i just had one of those moments where God gave me the vision again.

See, sometimes I joke with God, because we're tight--and he made me funny, ya know? and he made me funny for a reason--to be funny for him--so that's part of my worship. strange, you say? absolutely not. i'm sick of people thinking worshipping God is strictly through music. God made us so that He could love us, wanting nothing back but love in return--and like Eric told me one time, God don't make no trash.

In the easiest way I know how to say it, God is basically the coolest thing ever, so he makes us like him, so we can have special little bits of his coolness. Sometimes we get caught up on what church and religion tell us is worship, but church isn't God. I worship God when I see the beauty in something he's created and I have the urge to paint it. I worship God when I cry over some injustice in life. I worship God when I see someone and I feel led to pray for them. In every attempt I make to know my God a little better, I worship him.

I take pride in who He made me to be. I take pride in being too emotional and stubborn, because God is emotional and stubborn. I take pride in being creative and outgoing, because God is creative and outgoing. Next time you really look at the natural earth, think about the beautiful the art is that God has made. Next time you really try to listen to God, see how much He talks to you. Sure, you may not hear a verbal, booming voice--but I sure do know when God's saying something to me. And when I'm listening, I can't stop hearing God. Crap, when I'm not listening, God gets even louder.

I guess I write all this because for so long, I had this trivial, shallow, formal relationship with God. I believed in God like I believe Uranus is floating around in space. I believed He was real and alive, but he was nothing personal for me. I hate to see people walk in that. It brings so much doubt. God is my friend. And that may sound cliche and silly--until you try it. I love just talking to God throughout the day about random things. Like I said, I joke around with God. I miss God when I push Him away and don't make time for Him.

I get tired of people, including myself, missing out on just how awesome their relationship with God can be. They think of God as some solemn old man with a lightning rod ready to strike you down, and I just don't believe a God that made me so that He could love me would be that cruel and distant. God didn't need me. I hate living life like i'm doing Him some favor by giving him the tiniest bit of time i can in the day to learn how to live life like He did while He walked here on this earth, but it is so easy to forget that not only did He make us--He made a way for us to have a secure eternity in perfect happiness--and all He asks is that we believe in Him and do our human best to lead others to Him. How do I not live life worshipping 24/7. I blow my own mind.

So, that's what God just told me. All I have to do is worship. Quit feeling sorry and worrying about all my mistakes, and take the moments you're wasting and get up and do what you're created and called to do. What could be easier? What could make me more happy or fulfilled than that?