ugh.

i wish i were God only for a minute.

i wish i were God only for a minute. i just want to feel what it's like to have all the problems and joys of the world in one mind, while being able to control all of them simultaneously.
being human sucks.
i worry and whine needlessly over trivial things i can control, plus the things i will never have the capacity to understand.
in my one minute as God, i'd want to know the feeling of peace. not the kind of peace i've felt in my most stable, beautiful moments in life--but the pure, true peace He has.
realizing i'm small and weak in the infinite scheme of things is cool. i do my little part, but it doesn't go unnoticed. without me, a job goes undone, because i have a purpose in life if i am created by God. i'm like an ant to the anthill, but an ant who is determined to every part of their job well.
i've created this scenario, because i've wondered so much why it is important to pray to God when he has it all planned out for me anyway, right? i wondered would my tiny, selfish, biased prayers really matter at all. And i have come to this conclusion with the accident that prayer is not only to worship God. it reveals things to me. So many prayers i pray have been answered in the most obvious of ways, comforting me and my worrying mind--the one that's too small to comprehend all that God knows.
i'm still confused everyday, and i'll continue to worry myself up the most exhausting headaches i can--but at the end of everything, i do find God sitting there patiently, revealing to me in the tiniest and most magical ways how He is in control and will make it all better. Trea is one of those things.

i can't even begin to explain how...i don't even know what adjective to put here...amazed?
shocked?
mystified?
blown away?
overwhelmed? i am.
i wish i could do trea's progress justice by describing it to you, but he's doing too many amazing, trea-like things to describe them all in this blog. there just aren't words decorative enough to describe what i have watched happen this month. i am so proud and inspired by trea's strength that it makes my heart leap every time i think about it. and to think it has affected my life so greatly, i know it has and will affect so many people for such a long time. i am so excited for him.
praying is so important. if you already are, keep it up.
if you don't pray, try it on for size. there's no risk in trying.