I can fly!

Is it bad that I don't want a "real job" right away when I graduate this summer?
One of my favorite phrases in life is "But I'm just a baby!" I normally yell this at the top of my lungs to my bosses, my parents and my friends when I don't understand some process that should be common sense. (Disclaimer: Don't yell that at your boss unless you have a quality relationship, or unless you're a shameless fool like--oh...ME!)
Anyway, just letting the world know that I'm pulling a Peter Pan and not growing up until I'm good and ready.

Sometimes I muse over the careers I've considered over the years. I still think I fit the mold for any of them, ironically, which is how I know I'm just not sure what my future holds in the way of careers.

1.) I thought about being a physical therapist for a while. I even changed my major to exercise science for a semester and interned at a local clinic. My inspiration for this was watching an unhealthy marathon of Grey's Anatomy. Don't even think I'm kidding you. I thought being a doctor was cool and adventurous, buuuuuut upon further self-evaluation, I realized that I didn't want to have to look at blood and intestines and all that nasty jazz. Lucky for me, there was a new doctorate in PT. Cool! No blood, AND people will call me DR. WHATLEY! winner, winner! chicken dinner! If you haven't figured it out, the only reason I wanted to do this was so I could be called Dr. Whatley--and maybe meet someone as hot as McSteamy, McDreamy, McSqueemy, whatever. I was so convincing in describing how cool it was, my boyfriend at the time changed his major with me. Haha! After looking at a schedule full of chemistry, biology, and anatomy & physiology--I realized that watching more than three episodes of Grey's Anatomy in one day probably wasn't good for my mind.

2.) And then there was acting. This one was less of a facade in my mind though. In fact, I still have dreams for this one. I've been acting since childhood. I think my personality has always lended itself to theatrics, because I'm an only child attention whore. And I've always been fascinated by people, because growing up alone, watching people is the only way to pick up social cues. So, naturally, acting comes easy for someone who grew up watching other people's actions to create their own. When I was in eighth...

Sorry, Jeff Buckley is playing here in the office, so I am very distracted. Love. Of. My. Life. RIP.

Anyway, when I was in eighth grade, I saw a play at my local high school, and I was fascinated by this actor, Dylan. I thought in my little, middle schoolish brain, "My dream is to one day be in a scene with him, because he's dreaaaammmmyyy." Well, in the tenth grade, I was cast in a minor role as his girlfriend. This may seem trivial, but for me, it was the first of many milestone dreams that came true in my little life. Theatre has always been magical like that. For more reasons than a blog can hold. But alas, my parents thought it to be rather indulgent and wasteful to go to school for a degree in theatre. And in my case, I'd have to agree...sort of. I'm still extremely involved in local theatre, and I plan to continue this for as long as I'm able. But a little piece of me wants to live and breathe it like I used to. Maybe one day.

3.) Could you see me as a tattoo artist? Because I saw myself as one for a short while. I even shadowed a local tattoo artist for a bit. I thought it'd be a cool ministry to get involved in. Then I realized I wouldn't make any money if I didn't want to draw devils or tribal tattoos into people's skin. I let that one go, but sometimes it still seems cool.

4.) What about a media minister or youth minister? Believe it or not, I started going to ministry school when I interned at a local church. And by started going to ministry school, I mean I went to one class. But believe me, I learned enough in the Evangelism 101 class at the Georgia School of Ministry (which is a Pentecostal organization) to figure out that I wasn't ready for that yet in my life. I still love working with youth. I loved making videos and logos with one of my fellow interns, Justin, who I just so happened to start dating two years after the fact. But it wasn't the right environment or the right time. It still feels funny that I was well on my way to becoming a pastor. Call me Reverend Erin Whatley from now on, will you?

5.) I'm still an artist. Believe this. But I did give up art school. Not because I couldn't handle it. Because I knew my ultimate success would come from knowing the business world. I did a one-on-one ceramics study with this cool guy, Kirby, and he always told me art school was pointless. I needed a business degree. I didn't want to believe him, but after I got my Associates in Art and went to transfer to GSW's art program, I realized I'd have to give up my job--and ultimately my life--to fulfill all the required studio hours. I couldn't do that. So I haphazardly changed my major to marketing at the last minute.

6.) And now I'll have a marketing degree at the end of summer.

Somewhere between saying goodbye to art school and becoming overwhelmed with ridiculous statistics and accounting classes, I became hungry for the prestige and success that a powerful business career could bring me. I forgot my original reasons for embarking in a business degree. I think that's the reason I'm so confused about where I'm going. I lost sight of my vision and the passions that originally drove me.

I got too obsessed with the idea of success and money to stay true to what I really loved. Isn't that always the story though?

So, upon musing all these ideas, I giggle a little. I don't look at them as failures or wastes of time, because all of these careers and the motivations for pursuing them for a time were driven by a deep passion that I have. None of these doors are really closed:

1.) I may become a doctor of my field one day. Hopefully then, it will be for the pure joy of having knowledge in my field. Not for the idea of having others call me "doctor."
2.) Theatre is the constant in my life besides the Lord and my loved ones. I'm not fearful at all about losing my love for theatre. I didn't need a degree to continue my appreciation for it.
3.) The tattoo artist idea seems to be rooted in the desire to use my most favored skill for the good of others, i.e. using it as an innovative tool to share my faith. I'm confident that I'll have these opportunities as a continue to grow up, as I've already had several.
4.) Ministry isn't so much a career as it as learning how to serve in whatever capacity I can. I serve in two awesome ministries right now--Choir and Relevate (a creative student ministry), and I know both are where I'm called. It's awesome. And the lessons I learned from interning during college really shaped me to be useful in both.
5.) I don't paint or draw like I used to. But I still enjoy the beauty of nature. I still think as artistically as I used to. I'm just not as engrossed. My creativity is still just a sharp. I use it everyday. Just not in the same way I used to. When I graduate, the first thing I'm doing is painting on an ultra-huge canvas. Trust me on that.
6.) Marketing. Bleh. It's fun to have all this knowledge, and I'll put it to good use wherever I go. And that's all I'll say about that.

Come July, you can find me in the phone book under Peter Pan Whatley.
Over and out.