i wish i could comprehend the workings of the human brain. why do i suddenly feel grieved by some random occurrence from years ago? why am i completely joyful one day and inhibited with regret the next? it's odd. living is such a strange phenomenon. i wonder why i'm attracted to certain people. what made me choose my friends? why do i get a rush of adrenaline when i look at a certain boy? why am i intimidated by some people to the point of stuttering? why are certain people and places taboo for me? i feel like i created all of these unneccessary stigmas for myself because it is a common theme in the lives of others.
i feel like recent history has caught up with me again today. maybe because i have been spending a ton of time alone. it's a good thing though. like i previously posted, i'm really good at escapism. this time, i'm trying to deal with things head on. i want to rectify my hurt so i'm not bound by it later on. i'm in such a different place than the last time this happened to me, but in many ways it feels the same. no matter how old i am, most of the issues i face still bring about similar feelings.
i've been journaling a lot lately, and it's been doing me a world of good. it's so weird how writing down even the most shallow thoughts brings so much understanding to a situation. i'm grateful i've had a few good weeks. it's easy to get down about things, and i tend to get overwhelmed with the gravity of all the hurt in the world. it's really nice to experience i time of positivity and joy. i know there are sticky times ahead though. there always is. not that i'm trying to be pessimistic at all. it's just a fact. happiness is a commodity because it isn't a constant for anyone.
in this next season, i'm really trying to learn to maintain the joy of the Lord. it's a really hard principle for me, but i'm looking forward to the challenge.
- erin whatley
- two-two-niine, Georgia, United States
- i never thought it would be hard to fit a nut into a nutshell, but here's a go at what i'm about. foremost, i know, love and follow the Lord. i'm a wild card. i enjoy being alone as much as i enjoy other people. i eat up anything art-related. i'm an only child. i have a BBA in Marketing & an AA in Fine Arts. i'm the marketing and PR gal for Stewbos group, a job i truly love. i do this part-time, and the rest of the time i'm a stay at home wife/mama to Justin and Vayda. i itch to travel and i delight at learning new things. you'll find i'm neurotic, intellectual, honest and somewhat naive. i'm open and compassionate, yet paradoxically hard on myself. my biggest fear is succumbing to cynicism, and my greatest joy is experiencing growth. my idol is willy wonka, because i never want to grow up. i sing and dance my way through the day. I believe the best ones are full of giggles. i think blogging is rather self-indulgent. writing about my thoughts feels selfish, yet i enjoy the exploration it brings. thanks for stopping by.
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