and for the record, that last post makes me never want to blog again.
i just didn't like posting that for some reason. i get angry thinking about the people who will roll their eyes or give me unwarranted advice on how i should handle my life and these issues.
i don't even know who i write for anymore on this blog, because it was clearly directed a specific audience months ago, but now i just feel vulnerable when i write feelings. especially current ones. and i don't feel like i can be honest and say what i want to say, because i'm not writing certain things to avoid certain audiences, which again makes me feel like i'm not being honest.
clearly, this is my issue and no one is at fault for reading my blog.
i guess i'm just mad because i still don't have the courage to be honest.
i'm tired of playing games all the time. knowing human nature so well is sometimes not a gift. being able to put on faces to motivate people to certain outcomes seems like it would be a very profitable gifting, but i get so caught up in it sometimes that i lose myself.
i'm trying so hard to be myself. and i feel like it's bad that i have to do that. try.
- erin whatley
- two-two-niine, Georgia, United States
- i never thought it would be hard to fit a nut into a nutshell, but here's a go at what i'm about. foremost, i know, love and follow the Lord. i'm a wild card. i enjoy being alone as much as i enjoy other people. i eat up anything art-related. i'm an only child. i have a BBA in Marketing & an AA in Fine Arts. i'm the marketing and PR gal for Stewbos group, a job i truly love. i do this part-time, and the rest of the time i'm a stay at home wife/mama to Justin and Vayda. i itch to travel and i delight at learning new things. you'll find i'm neurotic, intellectual, honest and somewhat naive. i'm open and compassionate, yet paradoxically hard on myself. my biggest fear is succumbing to cynicism, and my greatest joy is experiencing growth. my idol is willy wonka, because i never want to grow up. i sing and dance my way through the day. I believe the best ones are full of giggles. i think blogging is rather self-indulgent. writing about my thoughts feels selfish, yet i enjoy the exploration it brings. thanks for stopping by.
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