relationship status

my relationship status on facebook has changed. it wasn't really something i expected to happen, but i'm pretty happy about it. i met chipper a couple of years ago when a friend took me to play rockband at his house, but we didn't really hang out much after that. i struck up a conversation with him when i saw him out around my birthday, and we started hanging out. i've done things differently with chipper than i've done in the past, and it's been a pretty big challenge for me. given that i'm completely neurotic, i normally require the input of every acquaintance i know before i give a guy the green light. everyone has to know all of my business and approve before i make a decision, which normally just stresses me out more. i consulted the people i care about the most, and they were all for it. and after i prayed about it and felt a peace, i was all for it.
my life has been such a whirlwind recently with all the changes going on, but i feel better than i have felt in months. things aren't perfect by any means, but i see direction and i feel pretty confident about where my life is heading. i hate pretending so much, and i hate living under other people's convictions and opinions about my life. for the first time in a while, i have the space to be me and figure out what God has for me without everyone whispering in my ear.

i still get texts and facebook messages and kids approaching me asking about gossip and things they've heard about chipper, and i'm glad i'm in the place where i can understand and give grace to that very small-minded, legalistic attitude. in earlier years, i would have gotten discouraged and gone as far away as i could get from that crap. but being involved in church and learning more about the Christian faith has really encouraged me to be an example in any situation i find myself in. at sherwood, it's hard for the general public to understand when someone pulls back a little in their involvement. people get uncomfortable about it, and they start to assume things without having any information. i know this, because i've done it to people. it's common to alienate and accuse someone rather than confront them with a concern, and even though that's sad and frustrating, i'm not letting it stop me from what the Lord has for me at the church he's called me to attend.

because let's face it, the way i choose to spend my time and the people i choose to spend it with is ultimately between me, God and my parents, because they are the authority in my life until i live on my own or until i'm married. i like to share my life with everyone because i'm an open book, but i don't owe anyone an explanation about who i'm dating or why i've decided to pursue a full-time job that takes time away from the things i was able to do in the summer time.

i truly hate experiencing people waste their energy creating false ideas about what i'm doing, which in turns wastes my energy becoming frustrated with instigators who further unnecessary gossip. it's my hope that the Lord will bring understanding to people in my generation soon that we should build each other up through His love by showing grace and mercy to all people. not just the needy children at gillespie park, but the pregnant girl in the youth group and the Christian friends who have gotten distant and the family member who is disappointing you. grace and mercy aren't just for the people it seems easy and convenient to give them to--it's for everyone. and the Lord calls you to show love through grace and mercy far more times than he calls you to rebuke others in love in His Word.

enough of that soapbox. it's just something that's been bothering me lately, because my happiness would be pretty unbeatable if there wasn't a backlash of silly opinions everytime i look at my phone. i feel pretty joyful right now. i love working at lemonade. i feel successful, because i can give my favorite skills toward my everyday tasks to please my boss. i still love sherwood everything i get to be a part of at sherwood, even if there's awkwardness because of some lack of understanding. and i really enjoy the relationship i'm in. i wrote a blog back in april about what i hoped for in my dating life, and it wasn't just fluff. i look back at that, and chipper has all of the qualities i want in a person (here's the link, if you need a reference: http://erinwhatley.blogspot.com/2010/08/guy-appreciation-101.html).

it's my goal to continue to grow in all seven areas as an individual so that i can be the best person i can be for the Lord and as a girlfriend. faith, sincerity, independence, consideration, kindness, motivation & appreciation. they are all such heavy virtues to uphold that i think it could take me a lifetime to succeed in all seven, but i really do love a challenge. :) nothing could really rain on the erin parade at this point. i'm loving life, and i'm being myself--so i couldn't really ask for more. well, i could use more money...but couldn't we all?